Hello all!
I know I have been silent for a long time but I have been super busy! My kids and new baby are really keeping on my toes. River is now 11 months old. I can bearly believe it. Preston is 3 now and Shin and Angel are 2. I can't believe who old they are!! They are becoming more of a handful everyday. With River now talking and walking (somewhat anyway) he is keeping me ever alert.
Also my husband and I have been having some problems right now. We seem to be fighting all the time and we are always mad at each other. It started about 5 months after River was born. We have been together since I was 15 and he was 17. We had Preston when I was only 18 and got married on my 19th birthday, about 3 months after Preston was born. We should be about to celebrate our 3 year anniversary but he is staying with his brother right now and I am at our house. And we should be planing Rivers first birthday on spetember 11th but he hasn't even spoken to me for 3 days. The hardest thing about this is that everyone is saying that this was bound to happen. That we married to young or we only married for the baby but he loved me and I loved him. Thats why we got married! I am going to call him later tonight and wish him Happy Birthday, he is 24 this year. He might not answer but I'll leave a message. We really need to talk, I don't want us to split up, I still love him very much.
It hurts so much to put my boys to bed at night and they ask me if daddy is going to come and kiss them good night or if daddy will be there in the morning. He left to stay with his brother a month ago. I remember Shin looking up at me last night (he is the daddys boy of our family)when I was tucking him in and saying in his small voice and saying "Mama, is daddy mad at me?" I quickly answer with a no and asked why he would ask such at thing. He looked in my eyes with his teary ones and said "cause he leaved and not home wit me." I started to choke up and told him that his daddy loved him and all his brothers and that it would never change. He looked relieved and nodded. I kissed him goodnight and left his and Angels room. I went to the livingroom and sat down on the couch and I cried. I was so shocked and upset and ashamed by my sons words I forgot that I hadn't put Preston to bed yet. He came over to me on the couch and took my face in his small hand and said "It's ok mama, daddy will come back. Don't be sad." he didn't look upset or sad. My Preston, my big boy was comforting me. I took him in my arms and huged him for a few minutes. Then I put him in bed and tucked him in. And before I left the room he said "Don't cry no more mama. Everthing is gonna be ok." I nodded and kissed him. I then sat on the couch again but didn't cry. I felt so ashamed that we had made our boys feel the ways they did.

It breaks my heart but I am going to try and fix everything. I really want him to come home. I miss him.

Well thats what has been going on in my life. Please pray for me!